I know that I pressed my lips together tightly and turned my head. I know I was stiff, polite but disinterested. I said they’d missed any chance to “play” with me. I know I told them that I was not playing. I know he kept suggesting I play with them. I know he directed her to get on the bed behind me. I can’t remember what exactly he said at first. They came in, her giggly and drunk, him smirking, and closed the door. They had been watching me most of the evening, but I was looking fabulous so I had thought nothing of it. I was almost done when a man and his girlfriend came in. I couldn’t get the overhead light to work, so it took longer than I’d expected. Unfortunately a friend had gotten sick specifically on our things, so when it was time to think about going, I had to re-bag stuff and sort “sick covered” vs “okay.” I left Timotheus in the living room right outside the room talking with some friends to get ready to leave. It had been 3 or 4 hours since I’d had anything to drink myself, and I was getting tired. We’d left our things, including our street clothes, in a bedroom with a bunch of other people’s things. We were going to a friend’s party where we were dressing up- I was in a golden space kitty outfit and felt cute, and he wore a black panther mask he had picked up. It was a pretty great visit up to that night. We had just made the decision that I would be coming off of my birth control pill despite my PCOS, which it was treating, as we want kids in a couple of years when we move in together. In February of this year, I was in Chicago visiting my romantic partner and fellow autistic advocate, Timotheus. What it is, though, is an assault that happened at just the right time for me to be segueing into a new career as a peer sex educator after years of policy advocacy. I feel like I need to preface this with that, because it’s not even the worst. Knowing what it is to be in my body in this world, it likely won’t be the last. It wasn’t the first time I had been sexually assaulted. If none of this appeals to you, then skip past the cherry blossoms picture to learn about Woodhull, and the shirts we are selling to support us attending it. The rest of this post is less graphic but does discuss consent, sexual violence, and consensual sexual contact. If you would like to skip that section and go on to a discussion of consent, skip until you are past the picture of the cat. This post contains a graphic description of a sexual assault.
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